Legalism Is Obedience Without Love

We are on our last week in the study by Beth Moore, "Living Free." The title to the last week is, "Enjoying God`s Presence." On the third day, Beth points out that "Legalism is an obstacle to that enjoyment." This statement brought back so many memories that I just sat and cried and prayed. I am so thankful that I can honestly say that I love to be in God`s presence. Sometime during the morning I walk my dog through our back wooded area and I talk and pray to God, sometimes I sing, yes, out loud, and sometimes I cry. but when I am in his presence I feel joy and love and sometimes even lovely.


There was a time, however, that I felt none of this. I grew up in church and my mom and dad were leaders there. Mom was the superintendent of our Sunday School, secretary of the church board, the best alto in the choir and on and on. They would go to board meetings and come home upset, (esp. dad), almost every time over something someone said, wanted to do or didn`t want to do. Dad would swear he would never go back, but he always did.


I liked going to Sunday School and church was ok esp. if I was allowed to sit with my friends. God fascinated me and scared me at the same time. In those days all the kids in my small town went to church. I went to school with a lot of Catholic kids and one day I noticed that they all wore a chain with a medal on it. They told me it was a Saint Christopher medal and they wore it for a special reason, one in which I don`t remember right now, maybe for safety? Anyway I related it to being a Christian and wanted a medal to show that I was a Christian too. Mom and dad would not let me have one so I stole money from dad`s quarter box and bought one and hid it and wore it only in school. Another thing that the Catholic kids got to do was was go to Catechism. Every Friday afternoon they got out an hour earlier then the rest of us to go to Catechism. They would line up at the front (thinking they were special) and march to their lockers get their things and leave. I tried to go with them once, but the teacher said I wasn`t Catholic and couldn`t go and I was even wearing my St. Chistopher`s medal. I remember thinking a lot about God when I was that age and I am assuming it was then that I related God to performance and rules.


I graduated from highschool and married young to my high school sweetheart. We moved away, had two kids and I found myself thinking more and more about God. We started attending a church in the town where we lived and got involved in Sunday School and a bible study where my husband got saved, but for some reason, I didn`t. We moved to Chestertown and joined a little country church close to us. My sister had recently been saved and that was all we heard for months and months until finally I told her to shut up and leave me alone. God began to work on my heart, however, and finally through listening to a Christian Radio program, I received Christ as my saviour. My life began to change drastically, I loved singing and formed a kid`s choir that performed all over the county. By then we had our third child, and one on the way, and we thought we were on our way to a joy filled life in Christ.

I wish I could say that happened, but that is not how it was. We eventually left the church we were in and with the help of some other Christians started another church. It was wonderful, we saw souls saved, we added people to the church until we out grew the place we were in and bought land and built a building for our rapidly growing congregation. I loved being involved, but we were too involved. There was church on Sunday morning and Sunday evening and Wednesday night and then there was Thursday night soul winning. I taught Awanas and led the children`s choir and was in the adult choir and even began singing solos and duets. My kids attended the school the church started and my two older girls were married there. We had a lot invested in that church and I loved it, I finally could be the kind of Christian that God would be pleased with because I was keeping all the rules; I always read the KJV, I never wore pants, never went to movies, didn`t go mixed swimming, didn`t listen to worldly music and when a preacher came and told us how horrible Sandy Patti and Amy Grant were I threw away their tapes and felt I had performed an act that God would immediately bless me for. My girls wore nothing but culottes and dresses and wrapped a towel around them immediately at the sight of the opposite sex when in a bathing suit. We were the epitome of the Christian faith, we were happy in the Lord.

Again I wish that had been true, but little did I know I was knee deep in legalism and sinking and taking my family with me. It wasn`t until God took us through some trials and circumstances that were devastating and humbling that we were finally set free from the bondage that Satan had created for us. It was a long journey to freedom with lots of ups and downs, but God was patient with us and put us in a place where we would receive support, instruction from his word, and most of all love. Through a study of Beth Moore`s book "Breaking Free," I was able to find a balanced relationship with Christ which was based on knowing and believing God, his unfailing love and trust. I learned how to be satisfied with him and not to be needy of others or things. I learned to give him the glory and although I struggle at times experiencing his peace, I know it is there for me in a moment.

I thank him and praise him for this freedom from rules, guilt, conditional love, and all the other "stuff" that legalism burdens you with. I am free to walk in his presence and share my every moment with him because I am no longer in bondage to the past.

"When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion

we were like men who dreamed.

Our mouths were filled with laughter,

our tongues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations,

'The Lord has done great things for them.'

The Lord has done great things for us,

and we are filled with joy."